I have always dreamed of big long tables dressed in full glory for Thanksgiving. I love the magic of place settings and centerpieces, and for a few years, that dream worked.
But somewhere along the way, I noticed something. I could set a beautiful table and still feel like a guest at my own celebration. Maybe you know that feeling. Everything is ready, everyone is here, and you’re quietly wondering where you fit.
Then, almost by accident, we stumbled onto a tradition that looks nothing like my “ideal” Thanksgiving. We steal away to a lodge and act like kids, losing track of time at waterparks, arcades, and bowling in our pajamas.
I know, I know. I have no pictures of a gorgeous tablescape and no legendary recipes from those early turkey days. But here’s what I do have. I remember almost every conversation with our kids, who grew into adults far too quickly. I remember what they were thankful for, what made them laugh, and a little twinkle in their eyes I’d somehow been missing before.
I still love cooking a big meal for a full house, so this tradition came with sacrifice. The toughest one? Giving up my expectations. Ouch, right?
Here are a few ways I’m learning, ever so slowly, to prepare my heart for the holidays more than I prepare my home.
Change your expectations.
Through parenting, stepparenting, and general adulting, I’m learning this isn’t about lowering my expectations or giving up on them. It’s changing them. I can still fully expect incredible, blessed moments this season. The shift is this: those moments aren’t defined by me. They aren’t created by me. And rarely do they need to be planned by me.
Look for the good stuff.
When I stop managing the moment, I’m free to notice the magic as it happens. One way I practice is looking for ways to help that will go unnoticed, and doing them quietly, with a smile. Peeling potatoes, sleeping in, pouring another cup of cocoa. I’m no longer working toward the goal. I’m enjoying it. Time together.
Be gentle with yourself.
Experience around here has proven that when I demand too much of myself, those demands spill onto everyone else. Then we all feel like we don’t measure up, which is the opposite of what this season is about. Deep breath. I am worthy, and I don’t have to measure up, because of His love. When I let love and humility fill my heart, it naturally overflows to the people around me.
Every year looks different. Some years it’s the lodge, some years it’s a bountiful table, and some years it’s both. But my perspective has been forever changed. I’ve learned the best seat at the table isn’t the one I set. It’s the one where I’m finally present.
Here’s to embracing the traditions that are right for your family, right now.
From R7 to you –
Be a blessing!
Leave a Reply